Is it a coincidence that the older you get, the more you realize you know very little, and the admission that you are not in control of much if anything becomes clearer and clearer. What’s it all about? That’s what we may think. What am I to do? And, for the Christian element, “What would you have me do Lord”?
It is easy, in the throes of revelation to think we can make a difference on our own, and be a leader of a group that at best, we were entrusted with for a minute purpose – one element at work no more – with the overall complexity of intertwined events playing into a concept impossible as mere humans to imagine.
And, in the moment we realize we have at best been a cog in the greater machine is there a moment for deflation – the feeling of worthlessness. Why am I doing this?
I can relate to Glenn Beck’s demeanor over the last two shows. I have thrashed the message but do not intend on thrashing the man. Let’s face it, despite his mission and direction, he is working within the confines of the machine around him. He may want to tell us more.
If we can think back on several episodes prior, Beck had told us there “is a story to tell, just not today”. What could he mean?
We could speculate, and feel the frustration of a man who has an opportunity to do real good if it weren’t for the agenda of the station. Would he team up with a different message and overall picture? By his own admission on yesterday’s show, he is not sure whether he is doing more good than harm. Was there an attempt to explain why the show has become disjointed, and in order to sleep at night, Beck is telling his audience that at least he tells some facts, despite the fact that they are disjointed.
Perhaps this is why he has told his audience to not take his word for it, and go seek the truth themselves.
Subtleties abound in mannerism. The monologue at the beginning of some shows is like a cry for help. It’s as if there is a man locked in a machine that he no longer admires, and can’t seem to break free of.
Imagine the kindergarten class, it’s the first day of school, and there is a little boy sitting on a chair, frumped over with pouting lips. He has his jacket on, and his mother is trying to convince him he will have fun, and to come on, take of your jacket and go play with the other kids.
But the boy may not trust them. He is not comfortable. What will they think of him?
With all the criticism Glenn Beck has taken for being the beacon of mixed and confusing messages without tying in how it all fits, there must be a feeling like the little boy – “What will they think of me”?
Glenn Beck was told by his producer to put on his suit. He didn’t want to. It just brings back memories and paints a picture.
On yesterday’s show, in the monologue came the bigger admission – he wants to run away and hide, but there is nowhere to go. Beck hopes that some of the facts he has brought to the table have made a difference. He likely knows that it is getting hard to carry on when some issues of importance must be diverted from. Big issues that must be painted as untrue.
It is hard to continue to bring a message even slightly tainted. Eventually God will catch up to us, and point it out, making it hard to get into uniform, into the suit that says I am a part of this, and I really endorse it.
This is not just Glenn Beck’s issue. It is an issue for every one of us.
We may go through the feeling of not being a big part, or having much control.
And, we are being used, and used for God’s purpose whether we see it or not.
To Glenn Beck I would say there may be another chapter coming, and you might have your chance to bring it all to the table some day. The day you alluded to many nights before.
There is a story to tell, it’s true.
The biggest one is the realization that in our highest point of despair, God reaches out and is finally able to take us under his arm.
We will have realized we are nothing, if not for him. We are being deployed to bring some good, even if we cannot see it, or understand how it serves the bigger purposes of God.